The pacifier

I think I have been spoiled by Cordelia. She is such a good baby, but a little fussiness the other day had me resorting to the pacifier. It was 11pm and there I was boiling water so I could sterlize the pacifier and pop it her mouth. Neither Rion nor Torii ever took a pacifier. Rion was a blankie and thumb man and Torii really never took to anything. He did hang on to a stuffed kitty for a little while, but it never became a permanant lovey. Rion still sucks his thumb, but has been without his blankie for a long time since it got shredded by so much love. He still mourns for his blankie when he sees it in pictures. And it's in a lot of pictures because he was never without it for very long. I didn't want to give Cordelia a pacifier because I don't really like them. It's just another thing that I would have to wean her from later. But I was getting desperate. I put it in her mouth and she immediately popped it back out. She gave me a look like she was trying peas for the first time. "What in the world was that awful tasting thing?" I tried a few more times but she wasn't having it. I was frustrated at my fussy baby, but also relieved that I wouldn't be spending the next couple of years tracking down lost pacifiers. Although, I may have another thumb sucker since she seems to be going for her hand a lot. The thumb's ok, since it's pretty hard to lose when you need it, but it's still going to be a hard habit to break someday.

Memories

With another baby in the house I find myself having little flashbacks of the boys as babies.

While I was feeding Cordelia the other day I suddenly remember the way Torii would grab my hand while I fed him. He did it every time.

I had to rock Rion to sleep a lot and he would hum or "sing" himself to sleep while I swayed with him in my arms.

And remember the way Rion used to sit on the floor? It looked so uncomfortable. He would sit on the floor with his legs out to the side and behind him.

True

I was looking for something when I came across this rub on that I was going to use in a scrapbook. It says, "Boys are God's way of telling you your house is too neat."

Memory

As my memory seems to slip more and more each day, I am continually amazed at the kids' memories. Today I went to Gateway Mall with Torii. I don't think I've been there with him since this summer. We hardly ever go there, yet he remembered that is where we had ice cream even though we were nowhere near the food court. When ever we go someplace it seems that one of the boys will remember something about being there before. When we go to Kirkwood they have to ride the coin operated cars. Target has the cookies. And Scheels has the taffy. I don't spoil them and get them treats each time we go out. That's the trouble. I treat them once someplace and they never forget it. And my bad memory doesn't remember so when I think I've gone to a safe place like Gateway, the boys remember something. Now they have discovered the Salvation Army bell ringers. They hear the bells and like a cat to a can opener they are running over there to get a candy cane.

Caught

The older the boys get the less I am able to get away with. Today I had to have a chocolate fix so I snuck a Snickers bar at Walmart. As we were driving out of the parking lot I opened my candy bar.
Torii in the back seat: "What do have mommy?"
Me: "Nothing."
Torii: "I hear something. What is it?"
Me: "I don't have anything."
Torii: "Let me see your hands."

Pretty soon I won't be able to tell the little fibs that I occassionally tell them. When I don't want to go McDonalds I simply tell them it's not open. And they believe me. When I don't want to watch Dora I tell them it's not on. This won't work much longer. Rion does recognize some words and once he starts reading, it's all over for me.