What we have here is a failure to communicate

Last weekend I had to go to Walmart and get groceries. The boys were whining because they didn't want to go. Heck, I didn't want to go either. Rion kept asking if I had to get a lot. "Don't get a lot," he kept saying. When we got to Walmart we found an unexpected surprise. The Easter bunny was there. The boys sat with the Easter bunny and then we could pick up the picture in an hour. I thought that was great because grocery shopping with the kids took at the very least an hour. Towards the end of the shopping trip I was tired, the kids were driving me crazy and I just wanted to get home. Later, Fred said he had to go out so I asked him to pick up the picture, too. When Fred returned he showed me the picture of the boys. It was so cute. It was one of the rare times both were smiling and looking at the camera. Then he showed me the second picture. What a cute little girl, all dressed in pink. "This is our daughter isn't it," he asked. "No, it's not," I replied. I failed to mention that while the boys visited the Easter bunny, Cordelia was asleep in her car seat and never got her picture taken. Fred said he went through the stack of pictures multiple times looking for Cordelia's picture before deciding that one had to be it. To his credit the baby in the picture did look a lot like Cordelia.

New favorite quotes

I've started reading a Erma Bombeck book on the recommendation of my parents. She is incredibily funny. While she is dealing with college age and older children in the book I am reading I still find myself laughing. It will be awhile until I have to deal with children that age, but it wasn't that long ago that I was the child she is writing about. I find myself relating to some of the stories, but I never had the parent's view until now. Then I think, "Great. Look what I have to look forward to." I thought I would share some of her wisdom today. The first quote I found while reading today and the rest I found online.

"If I had known thirty years ago what I know now, maybe we would have raised tomatoes. At least you could eat them."

"All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them."

"God created man, but I could do better."

"Housework, if you do it right, will kill you."

"I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex."

"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk until I faint."

"One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is."

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, 'I used everything you gave me."

Too young to be old and too old to be young

I watched Fried Green Tomatoes not long ago so I had to borrow that line from the movie for my title. I feel like that a lot. Not old. Not young. Somewhere in the middle. But I'm not middle aged either. I don't know what I am. Anyway, on with the blog.

Last year I turned 30. I joke about being old a lot, but really it's ok. I like being 30. No offense Laurie, but I would rather someone say I look like a 30 year old instead of a 25 year old or younger.

I do feel like I am getting "old" at times. This is the most obvious sign. I like to listen to NPR because it's interesting and educational. NPR is cool. I know a lot of college kids that listen to it too. One of the main reasons I listen to NPR is because I don't like any of the new music out there. "Nobody makes good music anymore." Only old people make that statement.

Next sign. I go to bed before midnight. Hell, I go to bed before 11:00 on weeknights. I haven't seen Conan in ages. I don't even know any of the running gags on Conan anymore. I am old.

I referred to people in college as kids. College kids. Wasn't I just a kid in college? And they look like kids too. I'm at work giving new hires paperwork and feel really old looking at these college kids' birthdates. These kids were born in the late 80's and we're getting into the 90's too. Wow. When I see a kid with a birthdate of the year I graduated high school, then I will really feel old.

I know there were more signs of my oldness, but I can't remember them. Why? Because I'm old.

Quiet please!

Today I felt like the grinch. The part where he is thinking about all the little Who boys and girls on Christmas morning. "One thing I can't stand is the noise, noise, noise, noise!" I can't think with all this noise around here. Today we went grocery shopping and on each trip I have to tell Torii to be quiet for a minute so I can think about what I am doing. I can't look at my list to figure out what I'm missing and listen to him at the same time. It's so frustrating to have a list and still not come home with everything on it. Then this evening I made the cake for Rion's birthday party tomorrow and was able to mess up the easiest cake recipe on the planet. Of course Torii was right there next to me as I tried to make the cake. Then Rion would come into the kitchen to make it even worse. So I was trying to read the recipe and in my left ear is Torii talking about helping pour the ingredients in the bowl and in my right ear is Rion telling me about his computer game. And the boys have no volume control so it's really loud. I literally could not hear myself think. So we ate part of my mistake cake tonight and now I have to make another one in the morning.

Torii's heaven

Today I had an all day meeting in Bismarck and went to lunch with some of my co-workers. We decided on the north Wendy's. Every time I'm up in that area it seems like something new is being built. Right next to Wendy's they were working on a building and like an idiot I couldn't figure out what it was. Finally someone told me it's the new Hooters. Duh, it's only one of the biggest topics around town lately. So a couple of us agreed that we would go check it out, just to check it out, sometime. I figured with three guys in the family, I would probably be forced to dine there someday anyway. Then I started to laugh. I had an image of our family eating at Hooters. I could see Torii sitting there, "I like that girl, and that girl and that girl....."

A quick stop

Last Friday Rion turned five so I let him pick out a DQ cake for his special day. We got there just after they opened and were the only ones in the parking lot. Cordelia had fallen asleep so I decided to leave her in the car while we quickly got a cake. Besides, I didn't know how I would carry her and the cake back out to the car. I have never ever left a child in the car until then. This was going to be a quick stop so I made the decision to keep her put. I would be able to see the car the whole time, and this was going to be quick so it was ok. I locked the car and went inside. We hadn't even made it to the freezer case when five people walked in the side door. It took Rion all of five seconds to spot the Spiderman cake he wanted, but by then it was too late. We stood in line behind five people who were asking questions and didn't know what they wanted. My quick trip was starting to stress me out. When we walked in, I noticed a DQ employee outside picking up garbage. Did he look like the kind of person who would break into a car and kidnap a baby? I kept looking outside. Surely, she has woken up now and noticed she is completely alone. She is probably outside screaming for all to her. Any second now a couple will walk in and announce, "Someone left a baby in that car out there. Who would do that?" Then the police will be called and I'll be charged with neglect and child endangerment. Then it will make the newspaper, because nothing else happens here. Since this is a small enough city everyone will know who I am and I will forever get icy stares at the grocery store. Maybe I looked a little panicked because the cashier was trying to help me before the other people were even done paying. We got out of there and everything was ok. Cordelia never knew we were gone, but next time I'll just bring the birthday kid with.

A real challenge is being a mom

I used to watch MTV and really loved the Real World, Road Rules Challenges. I very rarely watch MTV anymore, but recently saw a new challenge was on so I tuned in for lack of anything else on. I've always liked the challenges, because they come up with the craziest competitions and I want to try them out myself. I still like the challenges, but all the "extra circulars" were disturbing me this time. When they aren't doing challenges the cast is seen drinking a lot and "hooking up" with someone else. The whole time I kept thinking, "what do their mothers think about this?" I wonder if their mothers do watch the show. Does CT's mom just shrug when he is shown drunk and acting like an idiot? "Oh that's just CT," she might say. Or is she really embarrassed by his behavior? I would hate to run into someone at the grocery store and have to field questions about what my son is doing these days. Does she give the truth, "my son is on a reality TV show where he gets drunk a lot, starts arguments, has intimate relationships and when he isn't doing any of that participates in a competitive challenge." Or does she kind of lie and says, "Oh, he's still trying to figure out what makes him happy in life." Or does she straight out lie and say, "he's in real estate." Once my kids move out of the house, I will support whatever they decide to do, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. I do have a list of things I hope they don't do. Add reality TV star to the list.