Not so scary

As a mother of toddlers I am seeing Halloween in a new way this year. When I first saw some of the decorations I thought I would be spending the next month protecting them from what some of those scenes are portraying. There are some really awful and scary stuff for sell for Halloween. My boys, however, love it all. The uglier, scarier, more gruesome, the more my boys like it. Actually the only thing that Torii has been scared of is a big furry spider that is about as big as he is. Yesterday we were at Target and of course they had to look at the Halloween section. They love to try on the masks and the scarier they are the better. Then they push all the buttons on the motion decorations. I cringe at some because I think I will be up late with boys having nightmares, but they laugh and repeatedly push the buttons. Rion loves anything with blood on it and is really into tombstones. He bought one that we put in the front yard and he wants a motion one at the party store, but I think it's awful. It's a tombstone and at the bottom is a man's arms. When you push the button he starts clawing at the tombstone and there are bloody marks on the tombstone. Weeks later Rion is still talking about it and repeats what the man says, "let me out, it's dark in here." And he thinks it's hilarious. I love Halloween and I'm glad my boys seem to love as well. As long as they don't start having nightmares, they can have as much fun with Halloween as they want.

Haiku for parents

Earlier this year, must have been in the spring, I was stuck at work and doing a task that involves a lot of downtime. For some reason I started thinking about haiku and wrote a few about kids. Here are the best ones.

My new game is this
Throw toy on floor, mommy get
I throw toy again

In the tub tonight
Like to hear the sound I make
Hands hitting water

Mom wasn't looking
I took a bunch of cookies
Now my tummy hurts

I think I will write some more and I'll post any good ones I come up with.

Technology 1, Husband 0

Last night after the kids finally settled down, I turned on the TV to relax a little. I was bummed out to find there was only 10 minutes left of a brand new The Office. I then realized I had also missed the new My Name is Earl. Then the tides turned and I discovered that my wonderful DVR was still set to record all new episodes of both shows and they were just sitting there waiting for me to watch them. Oh, DVR, you know exactly what I want. I love you.

My husband on the other hand, has no idea what I want. Last weekend was my 30th birthday and I didn't get a gift. Apparently when I asked him to take me out to dinner for my birthday, he translated this as being released from any obligation to buy me a gift. When he told me he thought dinner was what I wanted as a gift I was furious. I only asked him this two days before my birthday, a point at which he should have already purchased my gift. Did I mention this was my 30th birthday? That automatically means great gift plus dinner. How I wish I could program my husband like the DVR.

Yah, right

Tonight after dinner we had apple pie with Cool Whip on top. I gave the boys their slice and went back in the kitchen for Fred's and mine. When I got back to the table Rion's Cool Whip was smeared all over the table around his plate and his hands were white. Right away he said, "Torii did it." Nice try Rion.

The Name Game

Let me take this opportunity to apologize to my mom. "Mom, I'm sorry for all the times I made fun and/or got mad when you called me by one of my sisters' names." I now know this is a disability that effects a large majority of moms. I don't know why, but the moment you give birth, your brain is never the same.

I understand why it's so easy to get your child's name wrong in a bout of anger. Your blood is boiling and like the swear words that would come out easily if there weren't children present, you just start screaming out names. And like a piece of toast always landing butter side down, you most inevitably will scream out the wrong name first. If it's not bad enough to get your child's name wrong, it worse when you call him by the dog's name. I've done it. More than once.
Even under calm situations I can't seem to get my children's names right. I wanted Torii for something. I looked straight at him, had all the time in the world to think about what I was going to say and still called him Rion. Once again, this has happened more than once. Probably in the double digits.

My memory has also seemed to slide since having kids. This is another thing I once made fun of my mom for and once again I apologize. There is a long running joke concerning my mom and dinner. There has been many times that she has forgotten something in the microwave, only to find it there while cleaning up after dinner. Last Thanksgiving my dad asked her what she forgot in the microwave. She said there was nothing and yes she looked. After dinner, she found a salad in the fridge that she forgot to put out. I have also forgotten vegetables meant for dinner in the microwave. I have also left a full gallon of milk out on the counter overnight. Apparently, the part of the brain that holds our kids' names is also responsible for seemingly easy tasks.

So if my kids ever make fun of me for these things, which I'm sure they will, I'll tell them no, I'm not getting old, I'm just a mom.

Brain, Child

About a year ago I discovered the magazine Brain, Child while surfing the web. It's probably one of the best things I have ever found on the Internet. I subscribed for a year and just recently signed up for two more years. Brain, Child dubs itself "the magazine for thinking mothers." I love this magazine. It is filled with essays from moms, feature stories and book reviews. The articles you would find in this magazine aren't ones you'll find in mainstream magazines. (The current issue has an article titled "Two lesbians and a eunuch", try finding that in a mainstream magazine. The writers in this magazine are refreshingly truthful and come from a wide range of backgrounds. Check it out at http://www.brainchildmag.com Just a little warning. This magazine is not for anyone who is easily offended or doesn't approve of objectionable language. And that's why I like it. Plus it seriously is for thinking mothers.

The Pizza Caper

I wake each morning to an alarm clock or to my children. On this morning, however, I woke to complete silence. When these rare occurrences happen I usually roll over and fall back to sleep, but today I was getting up. There was leftover pizza in the fridge and I was going to get it before anyone else. Is there a breakfast better than cold pizza? I think not. I tiptoed past the boys' room, careful not to wake them. Not only was I going to have pizza for breakfast, but I was going to enjoy it in front of the TV, watching what I wanted. No cartoons. No hunting shows. I made it to the fridge, opened the pizza box and gasped. Nothing but crumbs. I didn't even hear my husband get up last night. He was going to get it when he got up. He was always doing this. I lost count how many times I've been in the mood for a bowl of ice cream only to find the container empty in the freezer. I sat down in front of the TV fuming, thinking about all the things I was going to say to my husband once he got up. Then I heard Rion stirring in his room so I went to see him and tell him good morning. There was my little angel in bed, stretching and yawning, next to two slices of half eaten pizza.

This happened when Rion was about 2 1/2. Luckily, my husband never got to hear the verbal beating I had planned. I think I still apologized to him for automatically blaming him, but also warned him he better not leave empty packages of food around anymore. I laughed as soon as I saw the pizza next to Rion. I couldn't believe how big he was already getting. He was already feeding himself! I didn't think it would be long before he didn't need his mom at all, but thankfully he still needs me for lots of things.