Long days

After we got back from the Mall of America I did get to hold Cordelia. Although it was a major process to do it. The nurses had to move two machines to the other side of the bed, then lift her over to me on the chair. Then we had to make sure all the cords weren't tangled or underneath her. It was pretty much like that for the next two days. Slowly things got disconnected from her. The first to go was the chest tube. I'm told she didn't cry much. I didn't stay around for that one. I'm pretty sure I had a chest tube when I had surgery on my chest and I don't have good memories of the removal. On Friday the epidural and catheter were taken out. By Friday being in the hospital was getting really old. We were pretty sure the epidural and catheter were going to be taken out that day, but it seemed busy all over the hospital and it was later in the day when those were finally removed. Since Cordelia was doing so great we were told we were also going to move to another floor that day. Up until then we had been on a critical care floor where the nurse to patient ratio is really low. We waited around all day until finally a nurse said that we wouldn't be moving that day. About 8:00 that night Cordelia started falling asleep as I rocked her. I was looking forward to leaving the hospital a little earlier than usual and getting a little extra sleep as well. Then that night's charge nurse came in to tell us that we would be moving to another floor that night. It would be sometime before 11:00, hopefully before Cordelia fell asleep. I looked at her with a very disgusted look on my face and said, "she's almost asleep now!" After venting to Fred he talked to the nurses and magically we got up to the 7th floor shortly after. By the time we got into our new room, the nurses checked vitals and Cordelia fell asleep, it was past 10:00. As soon as we got to the elevators I broke down and tears started flowing. I still hadn't had a good cry since the surgery and this was my breaking point. I was sick of the hospital. Sick of the nurses. I was mad that they woke Cordelia up to take her to another floor. I was mad at the loud nurses just outside our door who were keeping my baby awake. I was angry that Cordelia would wake up in a room that she was not used to. I was mad that I wasn't in bed yet. And now I was also out of my comfort zone. Out of the room and floor that we got so used to in our week there. Now we were someplace that we didn't know with nurses that we didn't know. And to top it all off it was Halloween. Cordelia's costume was laying at home, unused. And my boys were out trick-or-treating and I was missing it. It was the first and hopefully the last time. I know that when I keep things inside, it usually will end up exploding out in a not so good way. And that is exactly what happened that night. I thought I was handling everything so great and then the simple act of moving to another room was the final straw and I erupted. Fred reassured me that everything was going great and by moving to another floor was a good indication of how well Cordelia was doing. Still I needed to have my cry and get it all out of my system. After my cry I felt better. At least for a couple of days.