Appreciation

Last weekend I was at a conference where I heard a lot of great speakers. I laughed. I cried. I was inspired. One speaker told of how she and her daughter share three things that they appreciate about each other from that day. I decided to try this with my kids, but they would only have to share one thing, more if they would like. Knowing I was going to do this, I watched my kids closely all day and found it was easy to find things to appreciate about them. I didn’t know what kind of reaction I was going to get from the kids, especially with no warning for them. Cordelia immediately told me she appreciated supper that evening. Rion was also quick to say he appreciated all the meals I made and the food I buy for them. This was going pretty good I thought. Then I got to Torii. He laughed and wiggled. He really didn’t want to tell his brother and sister what he appreciated about them every night. I explained it was only between him and I. He didn’t have to say anything about his brother and sister. He still wiggled and finally came up with something to share.

The next night Cordelia was ready before I even asked. Rion had something to share as well, but also added that a lot of people don’t get to do things like this. He is such a smart and sensitive kid and I love it when he shares things like that with me. I think he really likes the idea of ending the day on a positive note. Torii was still Torii, but he did share something even though he may still think the idea is goofy.

I don’t feel like I’m very good at telling the people who are closest to me what I love about them and that’s why I wanted to start this new bedtime tradition. I want my kids to know how special they are. And while I may feel under appreciated at times, the responses I’ve gotten so far make me realize that I’m not.

When you get married, one piece of advice that you always hear is, “don’t go to bed angry”. But I’ve never applied that to my kids before. It’s so easy to get frustrated when you’re pulling a kicking and screaming child to bed or to still be upset about something that happened earlier. Adding this simple step to bedtime has eliminated that. How can you be mad at each other when you’re telling each other what you appreciate about them? When I see my child smile because I tell them about something that I noticed from the day, everything else just melts away.