Last weekend I was at a conference where I heard a lot of
great speakers. I laughed. I cried. I was inspired. One speaker told of how she
and her daughter share three things that they appreciate about each other from
that day. I decided to try this with my kids, but they would only have to share
one thing, more if they would like. Knowing I was going to do this, I watched
my kids closely all day and found it was easy to find things to appreciate
about them. I didn’t know what kind of reaction I was going to get from the
kids, especially with no warning for them. Cordelia immediately told me she
appreciated supper that evening. Rion was also quick to say he appreciated all
the meals I made and the food I buy for them. This was going pretty good I
thought. Then I got to Torii. He laughed and wiggled. He really didn’t want to
tell his brother and sister what he appreciated about them every night. I
explained it was only between him and I. He didn’t have to say anything about
his brother and sister. He still wiggled and finally came up with something to
share.
The next night Cordelia was ready before I even asked. Rion
had something to share as well, but also added that a lot of people don’t get
to do things like this. He is such a smart and sensitive kid and I love it when
he shares things like that with me. I think he really likes the idea of ending
the day on a positive note. Torii was still Torii, but he did share something
even though he may still think the idea is goofy.
I don’t feel like I’m very good at telling the people who
are closest to me what I love about them and that’s why I wanted to start this
new bedtime tradition. I want my kids to know how special they are. And while I
may feel under appreciated at times, the responses I’ve gotten so far make me
realize that I’m not.
When you get married, one piece of advice that you always
hear is, “don’t go to bed angry”. But I’ve never applied that to my kids
before. It’s so easy to get frustrated when you’re pulling a kicking and
screaming child to bed or to still be upset about something that happened
earlier. Adding this simple step to bedtime has eliminated that. How can you be
mad at each other when you’re telling each other what you appreciate about
them? When I see my child smile because I tell them about something that I
noticed from the day, everything else just melts away.
